This story is posted anonymously by a mom of a 3.5 month old about her struggles with postpartum depression and much more.
I am a mother of 3 and a half month old baby girl and the acceptance of being into motherhood has not been that easy.
These 3 months have taught me to be resilient, patient and loving. I have been through postpartum blues where horrible dreams, sleepless nights have haunted me saying I am not a good mother as I was unable to handle and hold my child well.
I went through an emergency C- section as my girl passed stool in the womb. Being very determined for a normal delivery, even after waiting for 3 days to get into labor, I ended up with an emergency C-section.
It was the time when I felt bad on my part as the last option was made fun of. I couldn't bear the labor pains was given as an answer by my MIL. I was demotivated then and there as delivering post my due date was also laughed at.
Inspite of all this, love and support that I received from my mother and husband lifted me to embrace my situation. The next hurdle came when I was unable to hold my baby into my arms as she was 4.3 kgs at birth and I was too weak to hold her. This challenge made me feel helpless and lead to my postpartum blues.
It made me furious at every step as I was not able to take care and my mom being there as support motivated me everytime.
However, the situation became worse day by day as these blues were dominant and I was falling prey to them. I had sleepless days giving me a feeling of ungratefulness. I had to take medicines to sleep.
This was still not the end of my difficulties. Colicky baby and inadequate feeding were the next challenges I had to face ahead. This phase has been the worst time where I was finding someone to talk to and I met my LC Rashmi mam. She guided me with methods that could help my oversupply issue. It got corrected somehow but my fear and demotivated mind remained the same.
Today after 3 and a half months I have got used to sleepless nights. Feeding has become a bit better and I am still into the process of learning. As far as the postpartum blues are concerned I have started involving myself in drawing cartoons which I color as per my mood and mind.
I have understood that nobody can help you unless you go ahead and talk, seek help and share your feelings. Especially with someone who has beem through similar situation. I would love to talk to any mother who is going through any difficult phase and try my best to provide all the support that you require.
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